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Jun 9, 2017

Ideas for Vow Renewals – Episode #127

In this episode, we answer two awesome listener emails!

First email:  

French Lady

Hello! Love the podcast, and have only started listening to your podcast when my husband of 20 years decided that he wanted to do a vow renewal! I've gotten a lot of wonderful ideas regarding a wedding, but not a lot of information regarding a vow renewal. Since we have already had the big wedding years ago, I'd like to know what the etiquette is regarding a vow renewal???
Should we invite folk or not, do we need to have a reception or not, what role our parents would play, etc. 
We certainly don't need gifts, and I'm pretty sure that's something that's not appropriate to do anyway.
I want to wear white (though I'm sure someone will snicker--I have three teenage kids!!!), but my heart is set on this. Should we do mailed invites or special photographs with a photographer, and what sort of things are the thing to do for a vow renewal?
Would really, really love to hear some advice on this, though being over 40 I'll still do what I want regardless. :) Just wanted to know what sort of traditions or trends there are out there since I'm having a hard time finding ideas and information. Thanks in advance!

  • Who can? Anyone really.
  • Who hosts? The couple or possibly the children or even the original MOH or Best Man
  • Officiant? Anyone as it is not a legally binding ceremony
  • Dress? Original gown, anything really. Skip the veil.  Wear white if you want, it's perfectly acceptable
  • Attendants?  Not necessary, but you could if you want.  Original MOH or Best Man, Children, or Grandchildren
  • Aisle escort? Father, Children, self or even husband. But there is no rule that a walk down the aisle even has to happen.
  • Ceremony? Exchange vows, original, write new, rings, new or original, readings, singing, friends, family.
  • Reception?  Absolutely! Have a party, relaxed or formal is up to you!
  • Invitations? Similar to a wedding but the host names are not at the top.  The honor of your presence at the renewal of...
  • Parent's roles? Can be same or different, maybe you want your parents to play "officiant" or possibly read a poem, or special toast.  Totally up to your wants and their abilities.
  • Gifts? Don't expect them or make a registry
  • Cake? It's a party so yes of course!  Or have fun desserts
  • Guests? Yes, have guests, as many or as little as you want.  Include them in your ceremony and reception.  Let them tell funny and embarrassing stories of you and your spouse.
  • Photography and videography?  Yes!
  • Toasts? Yes, make sure you thank everyone not only for coming but for enriching your life.
  • When? Usually on big number anniversaries, or if you eloped and want to have the wedding experience.
  • Second honeymoon?  Of course! Or if you didn't have a first wedding take this opportunity to do it right!

Second Email: 

Hey guys,
Love the podcast!
I had a question about flowers girls and ring bearers. Should they attend the rehearsal dinner?
I have two ring bearers and two flower girls.
If they do attend, how do you go about inviting their families? Do you have to? Out of our flower girls and ring bearers, three of the parents each have three children! Is it rude to say only parents and the child in the wedding attend, please find a babysitter for the other children? Or just include them all?
Thank you!
Tarissa Robbins

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